As I delved deeper into ideas, the draft expanded to include later psychoanalysis with the self-psychology of Heinz Kohut, leading to the question, “Did Kohut open the gateway to our spiritual core with self-language and understanding of ‘narcissism’ but failed to step through, maybe because of a focus on pathology?” Further reading of a recent book, Working with Mystical Experiences in Psychoanalysis ( Stein 2019), suggested there should be an expansion of this dialog to include Carl Jung. The original draft of this paper was to pursue a dialog with a sole focus on Freudian psychoanalysis with the question, “Did Freud miss the discovery of our spiritual core?” as reflected in the title. I too had just been banished to hades for 3 days and had risen from the dead!”

The ending of the paranoia and emotional roller-coaster after 3 days revealed my deep identification with Jesus Christ who was my emotional brother sitting at my table during daily devotions with my devout minister father in a world where sex was sin. Hesitantly trusting my analyst, as I thought he would call the police or that cameras were in his office, he guided me to understanding this as a breakthrough into Oedipal feelings triggered by my recent love of a new girlfriend. I went to work and completed my day with few social interactions until I could barely make it to my analyst’s office with my back pressed against the walls of the buildings in NYC to protect myself from attack. Upon returning to sleep after various releasing activities, I awoke in the morning severely paranoid. “I awoke one night from a sleep disrupted by dreams of many women sexually pursuing me in an overwhelming chaotic frenzy.

Memories dreams reflections jung